Introduction
Sexual health is an important part of your overall health and wellbeing. It includes looking after yourself when you are sexually active or exploring your sexuality.
It also means feeling safe, respected and able to express and explore your sexuality in ways that feel healthy and right for you. This includes having safe and respectful sexual experiences and healthy relationships that are free from violence and discrimination.
Looking after your sexual health looks different for everyone. The steps you take will depend on your individual circumstances and sexual health needs. It may include:
- Using condoms to help reduce your risk of STIs, BBVs and unplanned pregnancy
- Using contraception, if you’re having sex that could lead to pregnancy
- Getting regular sexual health check-ups (STI tests)
- Taking HIV prevention medication (PrEP) if it’s right for you
Knowing where to go to get trusted information and support is an important part of looking after your sexual health.
Sex and sexual exploration
What is sex and what is sexual activity?
Sex, or sexual activity, refers to any activity that involves sexual contact that may induce arousal and make you feel good. Sex isn’t a ‘one size fits all.’ What feels good to you might feel good for someone else. Everyone is different when it comes to sexual behaviours and desires.
Most commonly, sex or sexual intercourse, describes sexual activity where a penis, finger, or object (for example, a sex toy) is partially or fully inside another person’s vagina, anus (bottom) or mouth. A person can have sex by themselves (using sex toys or masturbating), between two people, or in a group.
(Sourced from Play Safe, NSW Health)
Some common kinds of sexual activity include:
- vaginal sex – when a person puts their penis, fingers or another object inside another person’s vagina.
- anal sex – when an object or penis is inserted into the anus (bottom) during sex. It can range from just touching the outside of the anus with a finger or toy to inserting fingers, sex toys or a penis into the anus.
- oral sex – the sexual stimulation of the genitals and/or anus using the mouth and tongue.
- sexual activity that involves touching – like touching someone’s genitals, anus, or breasts over the clothes or under the clothes. For example, stroking, grabbing, hand jobs or fingering, and kissing.
Other types of sexual activity may include masturbation (by yourself or with others) and sending or receiving sexual images.
All these things are types of sexual activity. The important thing is that everyone feels safe. Consent is always needed for any type of sexual activity.
Consent is non-negotiable in sexual situations.
This means you MUST have the other person’s consent before you do anything sexual, and consent MUST continue throughout the sexual experience. Anyone can change their mind at any time, and if that happens, the sexual activity must stop.
What is consent?
Consent is when one person gives permission to another person to do something. Consent can be given verbally and through clear, positive body language. Everyone involved must understand what is going to happen and know they can say ‘no’ or change their mind at any time.
When it comes to sex, sexual consent is an agreement where people enthusiastically and voluntarily give permission for any type of sexual activity.
Body language can help communicate and reinforce consent but cannot legally be relied upon as a form of consent.
A person cannot give consent if they are asleep, unconscious, heavily affected by alcohol or other drugs, or unable to clearly understand and agree to what is happening. You cannot pressure someone into giving consent. Pressuring or making someone do something they do not want to do is sexual assault. Sexual assault is a crime.
For more information on consent and tips on how to ask for consent see our Consent topic.
(Sourced from Play Safe, NSW Health)
Pleasure and talking (for sex with another person)
Sex should feel good and be something that you enjoy, either by yourself or with a partner or partners. Sex is a natural part of sexuality and there is no shame in healthy sexual desires or sexual needs.
Talking to your sexual partner(s) about what you both like and are comfortable doing can help make sex more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Check in with each other before and during sex.You can ask questions like:
- ‘do you like this’
- ‘could we try this?’
- ‘what do you like?
- what feels good for you?’.
Mutual pleasure, meaning that you are both giving and receiving pleasure, is something that you can explore together.
Talk about how you will protect your sexual health. Like when you had your last sexual health check, what you will do if a condom breaks and what type of contraception you could use (if needed).
Remember, you can say ‘no’ or change your mind at any time, even if you already said ‘yes’. If you ever feel uncomfortable or decide you don’t want to keep going, you can say ‘no’ at any time. This is your right, and it is a crime for someone to keep going after you have said ‘no’.
Reach Out have a safe sex guide that talks about what you need to know about making safe decisions about sex.
Play Safe has more information on exploring sex.
Take Blaktion for deadly sexual health information.
International Student Health Hub offers important health information for international students.
Safe Sex
When we talk about safe sex, we usually think of the four C’s: Consent, Condoms, Contraception and Communication. Understanding each of these is important and will help to make sure you have a safe and enjoyable sex life.
Safe sex:
- everyone involved agrees and gives consent
- using condoms to help prevent sexually transmissible infections (STIs).
- using contraception when needed to prevent unplanned pregnancies.
- communicating before, during and after sex.
Safe sex can also include using PrEP and PEP. These medicines help prevent HIV and are recommended for people who may have a higher risk of being exposed to HIV
Sexual Health Check-ups
Getting a sexual health check-up is a normal part of having a healthy sex life.
Getting an STI test every 6-12 months is important, but this will depend on a number of things including how many sexual partners you have, what kind of sex you have, your sexual health history, what medication you take (e.g. PrEP), if you are pregnant, or looking to become pregnant, and more.
That’s why it’s important to be honest about your sexual history with your doctor or nurse so they can give you the best advice. You can also speak to a sexual health nurse over the phone for free via the confidential Sexual Health Infolink service.
STIs and BBVs can be passed from person to person during unprotected sexual activity with someone who already has one.
Some of these infections can be passed on by skin-to-skin contact (e.g. herpes or HPV), while others are only passed on through sharing of certain body fluids (eg. chlamydia, syphilis and HIV). Many STIs have no signs or symptoms so you may not know if you or your partner have one until you get an STI test.
STIs and BBVs can be passed from person to person during unprotected sexual activity with someone who already has one.
Some STIs can be passed on by skin-to-skin contact (e.g. herpes or HPV), while others are only passed on through sharing of certain body fluids (eg. chlamydia, syphilis and HIV). Many STIs have no signs or symptoms so you may not know if you or your partner has one until you get an STI test.
Remember, it is your responsibility to keep your body healthy and to make sure you are not passing on an STI to another sexual partner.
What happens when you get a sexual health check-up?
Sexual health check-ups are an important part of being sexually active. You should get regular check-ups to keep yourself and your sexual partners safe and well.
Sexual health check-ups are a regular part of a doctor’s or nurse’s job. They aren’t embarrassed – they do it every day!
It’s a great opportunity to talk to the doctor or nurse about anything else you want to know about, like vaccinations, contraception (if needed), options to keep yourself healthy and safe like PrEP or PEP for men who have sex with men, sexual wellbeing, or any tricky questions you might have
While it may feel awkward to get tested (especially the first time), it gets easier and is a lot better than leaving it. Getting tested is important because STIs often have no symptoms. Regular testing and treatment can help prevent long-term impacts on your health and the health of your sexual partners.
To determine which tests you might need, the doctor or nurse will ask about your general health, your sex life and sexual partners, any symptoms you might have, and any medication you might be taking.
These questions can feel personal, but everybody is asked these questions and they are a normal part of the process so the doctor or nurse can figure out what tests you need.
Your information is not shared with anyone else, including your sexual partner, family or guardian/s, unless the doctor feels like you might be in danger or have been sexually assaulted. If you’re worried about your privacy visit Your rights at the doctor health topic or Youth Law Australia.
STI tests are easy, confidential and nothing to be ashamed of STIs are tested for by a urine sample, self-collected swab, and a blood test. The doctor or nurse will always ask for permission before asking you to do a test.
For more information:
- check out PlaySafe STI locator tool to find a testing location near you
- for a confidential chat, call the Sexual Health Info link for more information on STIs, HIV or sexual health checks or to find your closest location.
- visit ReachOut’s website for more information about talking to someone about sexual health or sexual health check ups.
- Speak to Nurse Nettie, a qualified sexual health nurse. You can ask Nurse Nettie anything about sex, relationships or sexual health.
- EndingHIV has information on how to access FREE condoms in NSW
Where to get tested?
You can get a sexual health check at your local doctor and at youth health clinics. Call the NSW Sexual Health Infolink on 1800 451 624 to find a location near you. Make sure you ask the clinic if they bulk bill, or if there will be any costs for your appointment.
- NSW Health has a list of Sexual Health Clinics in NSW, including Aboriginal Medical Services.
- ReachOut has a list of Multicultural Sexual Health Services.
- ACON has sexual health testing information for the LGBTIQA+ community.
Contraception
Contraception is an important part of having a healthy sex life.
Using contraception allows you to have sex while preventing an unplanned pregnancy (for sex that can result in pregnancy). Many different methods of contraception are available. It’s important to discuss contraception with a new partner before you decide to have sex. Contraception affects both you and your partner, so you are both responsible for it.
Not everyone will need to think about contraception as not all types of sex can result in pregnancy. The type of contraception you use is your choice.
Condoms are an important way to prevent STIs, but they do not provide 100% protection against pregnancy. It’s always best to wear a condom as well as using another contraceptive method to protect yourself from both STI’s and unplanned pregnancy.
If you’re unsure about what type of contraception is best for you, you can visit a sexual health clinic, speak to your doctor or contact sexual health services online or over the phone. You can contact Family Planning Australia Talkline (1300 658 886) to chat with someone or go to Contraception.org .au where you can do a contraception quiz to find the best contraception for you.
There are many types of contraception available.
The type of contraception you use is your choice. Your doctor can help you understand the benefits and side-effects of each option. There are three main ‘types’ of contraception:
- Hormonal contraception, like the pill, uses hormones such as oestrogen and progestogen to make changes to the body to prevent pregnancy.
- Barrier methods, like male (external) and female (internal) condoms, stop the transfer of bodily fluids.
- Other methods, like the withdrawal method, do not involve hormones or barriers to stop the transfer of bodily fluids and are usually much less effective.
Condoms are the only type of contraception that will protect you from pregnancy and STIs. For more information on contraception, or to talk about your options, you can chat with your local doctor or call Family Planning Australia’s Talkline.
Common types of contraception include:
- External condoms – effective against STI’s and pregnancy
- Internal condoms – effective against STI’s
- Contraceptive pill ‘The pill’ – effective against pregnancy only
- Contraceptive implant – effective against pregnancy only
- Hormonal Intra uterine Device – effective against pregnancy only
- Copper Intra uterine Device – effective against pregnancy only
You can also take the ‘Find your prefect Contraception’ Quiz here.
Emergency contraception
You may have recently had unprotected sex or you used a condom that broke or slipped off. There are two types of emergency contraception available:
The ‘morning after pill’ (LNG-ECP) is an emergency contraceptive pill that is taken as soon as you can after you’ve had unprotected sex. The pill must be taken within 72 hours (three days) of having unprotected sex and is available from pharmacies without a prescription. The pharmacist will ask you a few questions like why you need emergency contraception, the number of hours since you last had unprotected sex, and information about your period. The sooner you take the pill the more effective it will be. The emergency contraception pill usually costs around $40.
The ‘EllaOne’ (UPA) is an emergency contraceptive pill that can be taken up to 5 days (120 hours) after unprotected sex. It is available at pharmacies or from a doctor without a prescription.
It is important to remember that emergency contraceptive pills become less effective the longer you wait. You should take them as soon as you can after unprotected sex. They do not protect from STI’s and should not be used as a replacement for other contraception like condoms.
If you need to find out more about different types of emergency contraception you can contact Family Planning Australia.
For more information about contraception:
- BodyTalk has an online guide about the different types of contraception,
- PlaySafe has information about visiting a doctor for contraception methods,
- International Student Health Hub for common questions and answers about sexual health, contraception and pregnancy.
- Reach Out have information about the costs and effectiveness of different types of contraception
- Contraception.org have more information on all types of contraception.
- Freedom Condom is a friendly, confidential way for young people to access free condoms, lube and sexual health information.